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Thread: donations needed for a new sat box

  1. #1
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    donations needed for a new sat box

    im looking for a new sat receiver but the price is hard to justify to the other half .

    ive tried every angle of persuasion or argument but i cant seem to get my point across .

    i need a new e2 sat box , but she just wont listen .

    so please i need donations , not in the form of money so dont panic .

    any argument or view point i can use to persuade her will be much appreciated .

    humor is encouraged as she responds well to a laugh .

    thanks

  2. #2
    Black Hole Team sonic1's Avatar
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    What does she like ? I think we need to know about what we are dealing with here as its far more complex than any sat box.
    When I have a problem with a Vu+ I find patience and time helps me sort all issues but I can't see that ever working on the opposite ***.

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  4. #3
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    if only women were as simple as the most complex thing man can make .

    reverse engineering women is a pointless exercise , they are made of pure mystery .

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    V.I.P digicon's Avatar
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    Take the fuse out of the one you have now and say to her its blown up i have no choice now but to get one, Unless of course the other half is a qualified sparky then your in trouble

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  8. #5
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    I told our lass the dm800 no longer worked with cs, thats why I NEEDED an Ultimo

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  10. #6
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    Buy HER the Receiver for her next birthday or anniversary whichever comes first!

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    mikie8 (28-02-2013)

  12. #7
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    buy it anyway and plead insanity she might not notice that's what i would do,he who dares wins
    beamish

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  14. #8
    Cool Dude Barney's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by mikie8 View Post
    if only women were as simple as the most complex thing man can make .

    reverse engineering women is a pointless exercise , they are made of pure mystery .
    She Seems Bit like Tandberg Director or Power VU then ?
    almost impossible to reverse engineer unless you have serious qualifications unknown to most of the male population .
    There is a slight trick that can be used and its fairly easy to implement ive done it a time or 2 myself it is a fairly lowdown nasty trick but almost never fails however so getting caught in the act is not adviseable so two things required for this mission .. extreme caution and stealth tatics are the two primary objectives required if you do decide to take on this dangerous mission .


    First thing is make sure nobody is around [ie] no witness ..two things you need in advance when the coast is clear is get yourself a permenant marker and a spanner either 8mill or 10mill or both ,
    now goto your sat dish mark exactly the position your dish is at on the pole / bracket very important to be exact here .
    once dish bracket / motor is marked on pole then loosen dish nuts just enuff so it can move a small bit ..move dish around 8-10cm away from its original position ..next check tv ensure pic is just about there .. the worse quality you can make it and barely watchable the better this plan will go down .


    when other half arrives and sits down to watch TV first impression will be to nag you about pic quality important to remain calm here she wont be in any humour for laughter but its for her own good in the long run ..

    when she suffers a little then just sympathise with her in a very calm but negitive approach and just suggest to her that things are not working out very well with this satellite box and you can have an expert take a look at it but it's not under any warranty therefor replacing a tuner which it seems like is the fault will be much more expensive than buying a new box which you already suggested in vain...but then try and suggest that you will try continue with this old box for some more days as funds are not available to do otherwise making out that you are somewhat okay with current situation and can live with it for a while longer

    ..this is where the female will always quickly show little or no patience in this awkward situation so you will then realize your mission is almost accomplished ...when she can see that her tv programs are pretty much unwatchable due to major pixelations in picture and sound breaks up real badly she eventually will have no other option to see her favourite tv programs than to give in to the wonders of modern technology and High def pictures that her tv programs can be seen ..this will be a perfect oppertunity to drop few hints about how many stunning HD channels are available with added bonus of 7 day On screen EPG and unlimited software etc.etc..
    once she is persuaded to go this new route of buying E2 HD box then all is left to do while you await delivery is to dissconnect current box and await a chance to finish your stealth mission and put dish back to where you marked it originally so that when you connect up new box it works so flawless it wont be anyway difficult to show her the stunning proper quality of this new and wonderfull box .


    But caution and stealth is primary in this devious but literally flawless mission should you choose to take this challenge ,
    like i said ive successfully completed this mission quite a few times myself even tho' there is a short period of awkwardness involved in the end it will all be worth it .

    Good luck mikie8

    --
    Barney
    Last edited by Barney; 28-02-2013 at 07:53 PM.

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    barney ..
    that must be the most underhand dastardly lowdown plan i have ever heard .
    how can you live with yourself knowing you tricked your other half into buying something you didnt really need..terrible...















    i will let you know if it works on my missus..

    mick

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    Quote Originally Posted by big mick View Post
    barney ..
    that must be the most underhand dastardly lowdown plan i have ever heard .
    how can you live with yourself knowing you tricked your other half into buying something you didnt really need..terrible...















    i will let you know if it works on my missus..

    mick
    I chose to accept this although my plans slightly modified, ive used the nudge function on the motor, and saved the new "pixel position" and said ve just come online and found out that DM800se are now no longer any use for UK T.V. this should be-reinforced with the repeat of that cockney **** on bbc....

    End result should be a new Vu+ most excellent and dastardly plan

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  20. #11
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    Quote Originally Posted by satfoot View Post
    Buy HER the Receiver for her next birthday or anniversary whichever comes first!
    some years ago , i bought the wife a motorola a1000 , but as a joke i wrapped up a new dyson , i gave her the dyson and about an hour later i gave her the phone . thinking i was funny .

    she still tells everyone at any gathering we go to about the hoover i bought for her birthday . even after i explain about the phone im still seen as the bad guy .

    i think ill try barneys suggestion with koozys modification .

    it will take some time , but rome was not built in a day , i am dedicated to the cause .

    i accept this mission of stealth and guile .

    wish me luck .

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  22. #12
    Senior Member PLANTPOT's Avatar
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    Mikie,
    you could go on strike.
    Refuse to do the cooking ,cleaning,look after the kids,shopping etc etc.
    You will also need to have a constant headache,so any activity in the bedroom would be out of the question.
    Then when you get your own way,normal service will be resumed. :-)
    PP

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  24. #13
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    How about saying that you need a new box to stop you going down the pub every evening and flirting with that new ***y young barmaid that has just started working there, before eventually having to have an affair with her.

    That should soon make her suggest that you had better go and buy that new box that you were after

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  26. #14
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    i used to drink alot and that didnt phase her , i know the wife wont respond to threats of any kind .

    shes smart and independent , if i stop doing anything i normally do around the house she would just do it without fuss as it needs doing .

    the problem im having with barneys plan is i watch more tv than her ( sports ), she dont watch any soaps or other daily rubbish , but she loves hard talk and antiques roadshow so i just have to be patient .

  27. #15
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    Looks like you will just have to resort to flowers, chocolates and telling her that you love her every day, although that could easily backfire and make her suspicious of what you are after or hiding

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  29. #16
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    just break a window and say someone broke in and they saw the old receiver,felt sorry for you and must have left a better one in its place

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  31. #17
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    flowers and chocolates wont work , we have allotments and she grows most of what we eat and smoke so she sees cut flowers as a waste of agricultural land . we dont eat sweets of any kind due to being very health conscious .

    i tell her i love her all the time anyway .

    she is so practical there is no easy way to change her mind .

    problem is , we dont need a new e2 sat box , i just want one like a little kid wants panini stickers and jam sandwichs .

    ive explained its my hobby and she has many craft hobbies herself , but she points out i have a few projects myself already .

    i dont have a logical leg to stand on , but with the advice from more devious individuals i shall get the toy i want .

    its just a matter of time and sticking to the plan .

  32. #18
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    Quote Originally Posted by mister-t View Post
    just break a window and say someone broke in and they saw the old receiver,felt sorry for you and must have left a better one in its place
    this made me laugh , thanks t

    im using a humax hdci2000 with a diablo wifi , so your idea does have some haphazard logic .

  33. #19
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    Quote Originally Posted by mikie8 View Post
    this made me laugh , thanks t

    im using a humax hdci2000 with a diablo wifi , so your idea does have some haphazard logic .
    glad i could be of help
    i do have another plan
    buy the new receiver,take the stickers and logos of old one and stick them on new one,as long as both receivers are same colour,it might work but if she is clued up on receivers she could foil that plan.i will keep thinking of more ideas lol

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  35. #20
    Super Moderator cosworth4x4's Avatar
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    got kids mothers day is coming.

    tell her the kids have bought it for here for mothers day.

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